Self Condemnation

My sleep is gone, my heart is full of sorrow
I cant believe how much I've let you down
I dread the pain that waits for me tomorrow
When the sun reveals my broken dreams scattered on the ground

Please forgive me
I need your grace to make it through
All I have is you, I'm at your mercy
Lord, I'll serve you
Until my dying day
I’ll help others find the way
I’m at your mercy, please forgive me

 Jason Crabb

I am breaking from my normal routine this week because I want to discuss an issue that is deeply troubling in my heart.  I don't know if you have ever experienced this issue, but I bet you have.  Let me ask you a question.  Have you ever felt discouraged by your own actions spurred into action by a perceived judgment against you?  I have. 

We deal with folks in a real way that hurt us, or cause physical or emotional distress far too often, I know.  But I am talking about how we feel about our own reaction to this treatment.  I may not have a lot of scriptural references this week if that's ok.  I feel the urge to just share my heart.  Indulge me as I discuss the problem of Self Condemnation this week.

The issue with Self Condemnation:

Anyone who knows me knows how sensitive I can be.  I have made small, insignificant scenarios into epic events all because of my perception of the situation.  Did you know that our perceptions cause a very high percentage of our problems?  It is true enough to be recorded in the Bible.  Consider the Psalmist words;

Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked [for some] to take pity, but [there was] none; and for comforters, but I found none. Psalms 69:20

David had a heavy heart, due to the situation.   It appears he felt he was being treated unfairly, and found no comfort from others in his situation. He believed that everyone was against him.  He prayed that those that wait on the Lord be not negatively affected because of him.  I have intimate knowledge of this type of guilt.  Whether it is only assumed on my part, or honestly deserved, it is a struggle of mine for all my perceived life.  

As Jason Crabb sings the song listed above, it reminds me all too well that my shame for letting my loved ones down is sometimes unbearable.  It is hard to show Christ to another when pride and arrogance is present.  What causes this type of feeling that keeps us down?  We all know this feeling all too well.  

What happens when we get hurt?  More often than not we pound our chest and fight back.  We get that attitude of "how dare you treat me this way".  When this attitude is being developed we often respond in a very poor manner.  The cycle continues to spiral out of control disappointment of one's self. We may experience depression and then self condemnation.  We often come full circle at that point to ask "why did I act like that...why did I say those things?  I will never be able to fix this...I am too embarrassed to deal with it."  

There is even a worse scenario for me.  I often "perceive" that I had been slighted in some way.   More often than not the other person has no earthly idea what he or she had done.  In fact there may not have been anything they had done, just my perception that they did.  This is worse for me because I typically burn the bridge I just ran across to get away. Then I judge myself far more harshly because I have in fact caused an offense...and for what?  For nothing!

Colson Whitehead, author and commentator once wrote; “We never see other people anyway, only the monsters we make of them.”  It speaks of our perceptions of how people are in our minds.  If we view them outside of the view of Christ, we see a different person, don't we?  Conversely, Dr. Wayne Dyer, an inspirational speaker and author wrote; “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”   

These two writers are saying the same thing, but are coming at the issue with two distinct different viewpoints.  These are not new problems, yet they are very real.  As an old saying goes, "perception is reality".  The problem with perception is if we don't know better, we think the worst.

Paul, while discussing with Timothy some of the finer points of being a minister for Christ made a very astute observation. In his letter he suggests that one that becomes a victim of pride will ultimately fall into condemnation.

Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.  Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 1Timothy 3:6

For those of you that are very cautious of pulling scripture out of context as I am, you may be thinking "this doesn't fit the topic".  Well, yes it does.  Since we are all ministers of Christ, we are encouraged to follow the tenets of Christ as such.  The point that Paul was trying to make was to not get so full of ourselves that we condemn ourselves through foolish pride.  Pride is the common denominator here.  See, typically when we feel slighted, we set a judgment line. That judgment line is based on our perception of things.  This is a very old trick, packaged in a very clever way.

How about this one:  Do you have a particular sin that you have struggled with your entire life.  Maybe it's one that you've prayed over, cast out, shook your Christ-like fist at...and yet there it is still.  How the hell does it still work in our life?   I got a few of those, just like everyone else.  And, every time I commit one of those stinking sins, it kicks me in my spiritual teeth.  It's like I have no power over it.  It causes me to question my spiritual integrity...big time.  This is not a new issue either.   Paul wrote of his experience in this matter:

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2Corinthians 12:7-9

The Importance of Forgiveness:

The end result is we feel guilt, depression, condemnation.  We often have had some break in relationships, and this has placed new strains in our daily lives.  And now, we feel despair, wondering how we can ever repair the damage in the wake of our embarrassing actions.  Often we feel the urge to run from the problem.  But that never works does it, because the problem is a real part of us isn't it?  We get to that point where the Holy Spirit becomes of no effect in our lives due to being choked out.  This is the point where we need to honestly re-evaluate our condition and seek the Lord for strength, guidance, mercy and most of all forgiveness.  

We need forgiveness, and only Christ can facilitate this for us as He is the giver of life.  We need to forgive ourselves first.  We need to recognize that we truly are just human, that mistakes are made.  The important thing is to learn what button was pushed to start us on this rollercoaster of feelings.  If we can identify the trigger that set us off, we will then be able to more readily stop the over reaction the next time that trigger is pulled.  

It seems that evil spirits work in patterns.  They understand that we are creatures of habit, that certain things get under our skin, and they make use of that knowledge about us.  The game changer is the Grace of God, and the Righteousness of Christ.  Jason Crabb continues the song his dad wrote in the 2nd stanza with these words;

"I cant believe the God of earth and glory

would take the time to care for one like me

but I read in the bible that old story

how He plead for my forgiveness while He was dying on a tree"

When we allow the devil to affect us as was described above, of the misconception, the over reaction, the hurt that followed and the guilt...all that allowed an evil spirit to work in us, quench the Holy Spirit and kept God from being able to be glorified in us.  We committed sin.  I bet I know what you are thinking.  Bob, we were the ones hurt, spurned, rejected.  Well, maybe, but how did we respond to the situation.  This is where ungodly thoughts arise.  This is the point where forgiveness is needed.  Not for God's best interest, but for ours.  This is where we can begin to heal.

Beloved, if you are still reading at this point, thank you.  It means alot to me.  I hope we can all become better at defeating evil wherever it is...within us or around us, no matter.   Some of the characteristics of God's Holy Spirit that will be active in us, to battle for us will be grace, assurance, mercy, and righteousness.  Discernment wisdom and understanding will be important to deal with future battles.  Love and long-suffering will always be needed.  This is what is called becoming perfected.  The more we know, the more we practice, the more mature and complete we become in Christ.

Paul continued to write about this infirmity of his.  He said;

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.  2Corithians 12:10

Let's pray this week that each of us will be convicted of past hurts and self condemnation.  If we can begin to deal with our self guilt and the things that set us off, we then can begin to be a better minister for Christ.

Here are a few verses to consider for this week's personal devotion time.

Acts 26:15, 16                       Matthew 6:14, 15
Mark 11:25, 26                      2Corintheans 2:10
Romans 8:1                           2Corintheans 3:2
Titus 1:15-17

Workmanship

"For me, it's not the absence of knowledge; but failure to properly apply that which I already know. I guess I need the Spirit's help on that".

Robert S.

Robert is a close and valued friend of mine.  His comment on the study of Knowledge last week struck a chord with me.  This is in fact a big issue for most of us.  Imagine for a moment if we could all make use of all the Godly learning we have received in our lifetime.  We could literally change the world.  Well, God understands this as well.  In fact, the idea began with Him.  He calls this characteristic "Workmanship".  So, to Robert, and  the rest of us, let us scratch the surface of this wonderful asset God has made available to us.

The Importance of Workmanship:

Most folks when confronted with the word "workmanship" would immediately think of craftsmanship, skilled abilities, or someone that is a hard and efficient worker.  In fact the Bible reflects this exact idea as well.  

And, behold, the courses of the priests and the Levites, [even they shall be with thee] for all the service of the house of God: and [there shall be] with thee for all manner of workmanship every willing skilful man, for any manner of service: also the princes and all the people [will be] wholly at thy commandment.  1Chronicles 28:21

God, speaking of Lucifer before the fall described him in this way;

Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone [was] thy covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created.  Ezekiel 28:13 

  
God tells us that Lucifer was a creature of wondrous beauty, of immense talent and an amazing musician.  A cherub of the highest degree.  Yes, Lucifer was an amazing example of the Holy Spirit of Workmanship.  But workmanship doesn't start with the hands.  It starts with the heart.  It is a condition that is grown in one's self by the filling of God's Holy Spirit, as is described in Exodus;

And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship.  Exodus 31:3

And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship;  Exodus 35:31

The Old Testament gives us an awesome understanding of His wondrous works by physical examples.  Workmanship is but one example of this.  As with the craftsmen in Exodus, and Lucifer described in Ezekiel, God has created His most magnificent work in us through Christ.  Paul explains it this way;

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10

See, here's the deal.  God fills us with His Holy Spirit of Workmanship to be useable for Him.  Of all the verses on workmanship, it is always connected to someone in service of Him.  When God inspires Paul to write those words in Ephesians, He is talking of the work He is doing in us by His Son, Jesus.  This is why our salvation is not of Our work, but of His work in us.  

The next point can't be overstated.  The reason we are a work by God in Christ is to give us what we need to be a participant of good works.  In other words we are a beautiful work by the hands of God and are expected to be Christ-like and continue in His good works as well.  We need to be that skilled workman, not of brass, gold and wood, but of love, joy, peace, forgiveness, patience, etc.  Isn't that cool.  We are called to be professional, skilled laborers for God!

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.  Matthew 5:16

In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine [shewing] uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity  Titus 2:7

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of [our] faith without wavering; (for he [is] faithful that promised;)   And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.  Hebrews 10:22-24

I must reiterate here that the works we do are not unto salvation, but because of salvation.  It is not of ourselves, but of Christ within us.  As Paul writes:

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.  Galatians 2:20

The practical use of Workmanship:

So, we are a product of good works done by God.  How do we "provoke unto love and to good works"?  One way is to study God's Word as was mentioned last week!

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.   2Timothy 2:15

But Bob, I thought we were going to learn how workmanship was to help us become more knowledgeable?   Well we are.  As you learn of workmanship, and how God shows us the physical example in the Old Testament of skilled craftsmen compare to how God is crafting a good work in us by the skilled hands of Christ Jesus, we become more knowledgeable, and we become a product of good works!  You see, God's concept of becoming perfected is a little at a time, here a little, there a little;

Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? [them that are] weaned from the milk, [and] drawn from the breasts.  For precept [must be] upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, [and] there a little:  Isaiah 28:9-10

The idea that we can become like Christ in a matter of a minute of prayer isn't realistic.  We become perfected in time.  We are protected by the righteousness of Christ, received by faith through Grace.  And this by hearing, not just an audible act, but by active listening, and believing...thus learning.  When we learn, we then act on the information...good works!  See how this works?  As we "work" God's words within us, we then become more proficient with the knowledge He has given us. 

For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.   Hebrews 5:13-14

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth [therein], he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.  James 1:25

So, the beauty of workmanship doesn't stop with a spiritual aspect, it begins there.  It then permeates our entire being of becoming more proficient in our daily work, or relationships, in the activities we love to do, and the activities we do to get by.  You see, God loves us and wants us to be as good as we can be in all aspects of our life.  

Want to be more organized?  Pray for workmanship.  Want to be more efficient at work?  Pray for workmanship.  Want to be able to be better understood, to be more articulate, to be more precise?  Pray for workmanship.  Do you want to be a better minister for God?  Workmanship is the answer.

This is by no means the ultimate study on workmanship, but just a glimpse on how it can help.  Now the challenge.  To be a workman, and to show thyself approved, work that which God has given you.  Don't try to do all things at once...here a little, there a little.  Keep in mind that God wants you to succeed.  He will give you what you need.  That is what the comforter is for!

But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.  John 14:26

May God fill you with the Holy Spirit characteristic of workmanship this week.  Now get out there and do good works!  Here's a few verses to consider for daily devotions.

James 1:26                        John 14:10

Galatians 3:5                     Psalm 40:5

Galatians 2:16                   Titus 3:5-8

Hebrews 9:14                    Romans 1:20

Knowledge is Power

"Many Christians remain in bondage to fears and anxieties simply because they do not avail themselves of the Discipline of study.  They may be faithful in church attendance and earnest in fulfilling their religious duties, and still they are not changed...They may sing with gusto, pray in the Spirit, live as obediently as they know, even receive divine visions and revelations, and yet the tenor of their lives remains unchanged.  Why?  Because they have never taken up one of the central ways God uses to change us:  study....Good feelings will not free us.  Ecstatic experiences will not free us.  Getting "high" on Jesus will not free us.  Without a knowledge of the truth, we will not be free".

Celebration of Discipline, Page 62-63,  Richard J. Foster

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, [then] are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  John 8:31-32.

Beloved, it can't be overstated that knowledge in the Word of God and the workings of the Holy Spirit is imperative to be a successful Christian today.  Throughout these lessons, I've emphasized the importance of each Characteristic of God's Holy Spirit as an integral part of becoming perfected in Christ.  The fact of the matter is, each one of these characteristics have an immense amount of importance.  The Holy Spirit of Knowledge is one of the biggies.

The Importance of Knowledge:

In the verse above, Christ was trying to express that those who believed in Him should learn of His words, live by His words and to be intimately knowledgeable of His teachings.  The word  "know" here is the Greek word "ginosko", which suggests to perceive, understand and to know in an intimate way as one might "know" their spouse.  This is much stronger than just an awareness of Christ.  He was telling them they need an intimate knowledge of Him, and this knowledge would "make them free".

This is the concept that Dr. Fosters is expressing in his 5th chapter on study.  He quotes Romans 12:1-2 as his emphasis on the fact that to "know" the scriptures is to be transformed within the mind.  This is a very common thread of teaching in the Bible.  The Israelites were commanded to write God's laws on the doorposts and on the lentils of their homes, and to bind them on their hands so as to have them always in the forefront of their minds as they went about their daily work.

Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates:  Deuteronomy 11:18-20

This particular passage was connected to a promise from God to His people.  If they would keep His commandments, He would drive out the other nations and give His people the land as their own.  We have the same promise.  Christ offers us the promise land as well, and it starts when we ask Him into our hearts, allow Him to be Lord.  But, as we continue to learn of Him and His word, he will drive out the ungodly thoughts from our minds and give us a "land of plenty" as well.  But we are to get to know Him as He stated in John 8 above.  

Let us not get confused here.  We are sealed with the promise of Heaven by His grace through faith at the time of salvation.  I am speaking of the fertile ground within our minds, as we live here on earth today(Luke 8:5-15 )(Matthew 13:22).  Christ wants to plant His word within us as a sower sows a field unto harvest.  Our minds, this fertile ground,will bring forth the fruit of His harvest within us by way of Love, Faith, Joy, Gentleness, Longsuffering, Knowledge, Wisdom, Understanding, Peace, Mercy, and so on.  Thus becoming truly free!

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.  James 3:17-18

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

James expresses it this way, that God "begat" us by His own will, through His word of Truth, we should put away from us our old man ways of thinking, and replace it with godly things.

Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures...Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.  James 1:18,21-22)

The message time and again is we should be knowledgeable of His Word and Spirit. When Christ came onto the scene, he raised the bar, the standard of things.  Instead of writing God's word on our doorposts, lentils and binding them to our hands, we are to "write" them in the fleshy tablets of our hearts, to "engraft" it into our minds, so as to make the Word of God a permanent part of our beings.  The Holy Spirit characteristic of Knowledge is a big one, and Christ was full of knowledge.

And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;  Isaiah 11:2

The Practical Application of Knowledge:

Knowledge is key to fight deceiving spirits.  It will also help us organize our thoughts.  With these two benefits, we will be a formidable warrior during times of temptation.  We can also be ready to give an answer when we are asked.  Just as when the eunuch asked asked Phillip what the scriptures meant, and Phillip was able to give an answer, then share the gospel with him (Acts 8:29-35), so are we called to be able to give an answer when given the opportunity.

To be Christ like, we must have the Word of God en-grafted within us.  We can use this knowledge to guide our thoughts, our actions.  Knowledge works hand in hand with wisdom and understanding to complete the ability to choose the right decisions.  There's an old cliche' "knowledge is power".  This is definitely true with the Word of God.  As Christ used scripture to battle Satan in the desert, we too will achieve victory over the evil one as we use scripture to base our responses with during our day to day activities.

Let us keep this old cliche' in mind as well, "with great power comes great responsibility".  God expects us to be responsible with what He gives us.  Let us use His word and Spirit with fear and respect.  To do otherwise would be to work against all that God had intended.  I want to challenge each of us this week to go back through the previous posts. Pick one and really dig in deep.  

Use resources to check my references, pray over what was written, and discern what is being said.  Write in your journals as ideas come.  There are several ways to study and retain information.  It appears that repetition works best for me.  Use this time as a different time from your devotional time.  Devotion time is for ruminating or meditation on a thought or scripture! Study is for excavating the scriptures for specific truths! 

May God fill you with Knowledge this week!  Here are some verses to consider for your devotional time.

Isaiah 11:2                          Proverbs 17:27
James 1:22-25                    Galatians 4:3-7
Phillipians 4:8,9                 Ephesians 1:17,18
1John 2:3-5                        1John 5:20